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Forum policy is that you are NOT supposed to be enjoying yourself on this forum. Finding more than five posts a day that move you to the extent you want to express your appreciation or agreement is strictly BANNED as you are finding out. STOP IT. You have been warned.

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and Radio, just read it on FB 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator – 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator – 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator – 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 – 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..' 5. US PGA Commentator – 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ........ Oh my god !! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Totally agree about learning to control your boat. Your second comment, however, is twaddle. A bow thrust a very useful aid for manoeuvring and should be thought of as such, and occasionally very handy. You dogmatically say that no working boats ever found the need; only because they were't invented in the "olden days". When working boats on the canals first started they never found the need for engines and they stuck to their horses , not surprisingly because engines weren't yet invented, but they soon adopted them when they were. Howard

Hi everyone I'm closely involved in Health and Social Care issues at Cumbria County Council and have recently been appointer to the CRT Council. (But haven't been to a meeting yet due to the lockdown) I'm wondering how you are all managing at the moment? I had a call this morning with Matthew Symonds CRT Boating Manager who is working on all the issues we have here in Cumbria, but across a much greater area. There are about 150 of you in the "Shielded" group. This is the group who would be severely challenged by Covid-19. Mainly with respiratory issues and also compromised immunity. If you are in this group you should already be aware and you should have been offered various extra help including food parcels. There is then a "Vulnerable" group consisting of those who need extra help but who are not automatically on any list. CRT are supporting this group in various ways. Matthew said that there is a concern around some of the private boatyards closing for the duration and this meaning a lack of facilities. CRT are trying to address this where possible. I'm sure you already know, but the number to ring if you need help is 0303 0404040. Just as with Cumbria, the main issues are currently being caused by the response rather than the Virus itself. Hopefully it doesn't get into the canal community in any serious amount. I'm a share boater so currently looking at the possibility of a whole season off the waterways. Hopefully not! Best wishes to you all, and stay safe. Peter Thornton

VID-20200401-WA0008.mp4

Exactly. You have no idea what you are talking about. It is a rule of thumb. Like all rules of thumb, most of the time it isn't accurate. How embarassing for you that I&A gets it, when you, with your thousands of years experience, don't. Well you know what they say, 1000 years of getting it wrong is still experience, which is why experience without underlying knowlege is useless. The bottom line is that you looked at an inverter with a specified max va, you tried to load it to that number of va when power factor was unity, and you were surprised when it tripped even though the wattage rating (va at unity power factor) of the inverter was somewhat less than the load. Clearly you didn't understand the issues.

Yes, That way the path through each of the three cells in a parallel group goes through two links. As done in the photo one cell has no links, one has two and one has four. Very small resistances will be enough to have large effects on the current flow and the cells not be worked equally hard. I turned one of the blocks through 180 degrees compared to that photo, that way the interconnecting lead is short and doesn't have to cross anything else. The positive and negative connections are on the corresponding terminals at the other end. I'd say that six cells are as heavy as you'd want as a single unit, so if you do upgrade, get them as four blocks of four, rather than two blocks of eight. MP.

Nick you are wrong full stop victron rate their 2000 VA inverter at 1600 watts! Look at their data sheets and stop arguing yourself into a corner

Right @peterboat All those virtual greenies you kept pretending to give out can now be cashed in. I think you owe @Dr Bob a hundred, @Alan de Enfield about 80, @Mike the Boilerman 3 ...

I've been on several fora where they are rationed. Generally the reason being that you get cliques of members who up vote just about everything others of the group post. This can discourage quieter posters who might spend a bit of time and effort on a review or trip report only to find some inane one line contribution has had more reaction.

"Never in the history of boating has so much been lost to so many due to the actions of so few"

I'm not at all sure that CaRT have the resources to do internal tests of all assets, including lock gates and balance beams. As I showed in an earlier photo, there was no obvious imminent failure when we passed through early March and if, as I suspect, CaRT asset monitors (and, yes, they do actually monitor all their assets, presumably on a risk based schedule) they can only afford a quick visual check then there would have been no requirement to schedule maintenance, which in this case would have to be an expensive balance beam replacement. To go further would require all of the relevant staff to be equipped with suitable portable NDT devices, assuming they exist for internal decay, and for the time to make the measurements and interpret them. Most NDT testing does require a level of interpretive skill to translate the readings into a failure risk. Of course, we all rail at CaRT whenever there is a failure to our beloved network but, you know folks, stuff happens and you just have to get on with it. Working out which is best - scheduled routine replacement (like they used to do with street lights) or failure replacement is a non-trivial calculation and we all expect CaRT to make the 'best' use of their limited resources. I am guessing, but I would readily expect that if we spotted CaRT replacing an apparently healthy balance beam then there would be call outs on all the relevant social media, inc here. All managers take risks, it is what it is about, it is what is written on the tin. If a bad thing never happened then it is not a risk. Flood protections schemes may have been designed or 100 year flood levels, but it did not stop them being overwhelmed a couple of years later.

Absolutely correct and a very very important point. I would be very wary of purchasing a boat directly from the Netherlands (I've done it). Pros: Easy availability of crane out and repair facilities (should a boat need them). Expertise is high. Wide range of visually attractive boats. Cons: Surveys over there regard 3mm as adequate, 4mm as decent. 3mm is far too thin for UK shallow, debris-strewn waterways. If you get a boat surveyed in the Netherlands, the hull turns out to be mostly 3mm, you might find yourself locked into a purchase (or penalty payments for withdrawing). The boat will have 'passed' survey according to Dutch requirements and therefore you are obliged to go ahead with the purchase. Likewise, repairs might only be to 4mm standard; thicker than that and you will have to pay extra. Older boats will require a BSC in the UK and probably won't be fitted out to meet BSC standards. Electrics will probably be fine, but be prepared to do substantial gas work. Transport to the UK will not be cheap. Yes, you can motor (or sail) a boat across. This is a substantial undertaking; we hired a professional skipper, both for his expertise and so that we could get insurance. I spent 3 days fitting a new fuel tank and testing lighting, rigging etc before that trip. All those costs add up.

My advice is that in general a bow thruster on a canal boat is only intended for slow speed, close quarters handling and isn't really designed to counter river currents or wind. You should be using your main engine and prop for that, not the bow thruster.

Yep, over a bloody week in a poxy house!! I cant for the life of me see the attraction and how the hell people who own both a house and a boat choose to live in the house beggars belief!!