Wheeze of the toepath.

[bizzard]

Wouldn't it be nice when and if you peddle a bicycle along when lock wheeling to not have to pedal it. I always felt sorry for Victoria Peddlemore, no wonder she retired early from it .

So. the latest state of the art bike which meets the modern day bicyclers latest cutting edge needs for lock wheeling duty is the type that you don't have to peddle at all. Chuck those silly over expensive Mountain bikes with 9,000 gears two of which you can only ever find anyway away along with the shiny go faster suites and streamlined flying insect helmets and build yourself, Wait for it. A SAILING BIKE!!.

I once constructed one of these from an old bone shaker of a bike, one with strong Woods wheel rims and rod brakes are immensely tough machines. The one I made had an inherant and dangerous fault which made me look an imbecile.

I took it to the big green near Lambourne End Chigwell Row in Essex along with a mixed bunch of bicycling friends to demonstrate it on ''the green''.. When we all finally emerged from the nearby pub along with many curious drinkers I led them all wheeling my sailing bike across the road to the said green,'' I felt like the Pie-eyed piper of Hamlin, and a touch apprehensive lest I should not put on a good display for this big audience.

The wind was strong and gusty similar as today and ablowing from a Westerly direction so I rigged the sailing bike, facing it down wind for the first demonstration run and mounted the saddle. Because of the high wind a friend had to hang on to my saddle to hold the beast back and to stop me doing a somersalt as the strong gusts of wind hit the square rigged high aspect sail which kept lifting the bikes rear wheel off the grass.

As soon as there's a lull in the wind ''let go'' i cried. The lull eventually arrived and he let go. At first it was all quite gentle and pleasant like, bowling gently along with feet up across that green with everyone cheering and shouting encouragement, I felt generally quite pleased with life.

Then all of a sudden a massive great big storm force gust of wind overtook me, took me completely by surprise as I was showing the onlookers how easy it was to casually light up a cigarette whilst underway on a sailing bike, and accellerated me up to a dizzy dizzy speed, trees, bushes and shrubs flashed past me like lightening, I tried a slight swerve as there was an enormous old Oak tree looming up dead ahead on the horizon, this was no good as I had no outriggers to steady the bike for when sailing the bike on the wind so had to be content with dead down wind travel. I did shout for help at one stage but felt a goon saying it. However at times of fearsome endeavour the old adrenalin kicks in and saves the day, but it didn't save my day. I hit that huge Oak tree square on, knocking a tooth out and bruising my hooter collapsed upon the ground moaning with a tangled sailing bike upon me. My self esteem and street cred had been destroyed. This is a true account of what happened.

Right, now lets get down to modifying a bicycle to sail by wind power for lock wheeling duties.

Any old bike will do. Find a long stick for mast,'' The boat pole or mums clothes prop will do'' a shorter stick ''the Yard'' for the square rig sail ''an old bed sheet'' to hang on and some odd bits of rope and a bit of metal with some holes in it.

Remove your bikes O/S front wheel nut, screw the bit of metal to the masts foot and fastening it the the wheel spindle with the nut. Haul the mast up vertical and lash it to the handlebars with a bit of rope. Lash the Yard to th mast a few feet from the top. Tie the sail to the yard and tie two ropes to to corners of the sails foot, these are your sail control sheets ''your throttle''. Now to prevent what happened to me happening to you I suggest you wear a pair of Roller-Skates or lash a couple of Skate-boards to your feet to use as outriggers which will enable you to have much more control over your direction of sailing.

If anyone needs any instruction on how to build their homemade sailing bike, don't hesitate to pm me. Happy lock wheeling folks. Probably lots of spelling and grammar mistakes but I'm too tired to bother reviewing or editing it.

Bizzard.

[magnetman]

i'm tempted to get an electric bike

 

with electocution wand so I can zap the idiot commuter cyclists as I breeze past them at 35mph

 

I saw a converted mountain bike on ebay which would do 50mph and get there as quick as a porsche.

[bizzard]

i'm tempted to get an electric bike

 

with electocution wand so I can zap the idiot commuter cyclists as I breeze past them at 35mph

 

I saw a converted mountain bike on ebay which would do 50mph and get there as quick as a porsche.

50mph!! I'd leave it in the porch. Wind powers the way to go and if it goes calm eat plenty of beans.