225 replies to this topic

[pykebird]

Brillant! But I am feeling not quite a boater, as I own a washing machine, most of my clothes are pink and I also have hair straightners!!!!

[Geoff Taylor]

Hi Star
Brilliant!! its took me around 15 mins to stop laughing enough to type this reply,when you get out and about on the cut,you may be able to add quite a few more observations. I have had a couple of instances that stick in my mind.
One was at Hillmorton when I remarked to a boater how I liked his leather windlass holder belt in which was a very expensive bronze one,he said he had been boating some forty years,whipped out the windlass,spun it round in his hand and it fled into the lock (being bronze,no magnet would ever retrieve it!!). The other time was locking up with a time hardened "boater" who insisted that it was so essential to have a bow thruster and how good they were at getting you out of trouble, at the next lock he knocked the s**t out of the entrance and and between the next lock some 500 mtrs away grounded his boat twice!.

[DaveP]

Forgot to add:

43: your sole source of news is Radio 4

Actually it's the World Service - R4 is only for the uninitiated.

Starcoaster needs more greenies - a spectacularly awesome summary.

[Starcoaster]

I am loving all of the additions, please keep them coming... Particularly the one about the inside of the truck cab, and

Landlubbers might accuse each other of being 'full of sh*t' but only boaters know exactly how much.

What has amused me so much about the whole thing is the fact that anyone who has been on a boat for more than a couple of weeks just KNOWS all of this stuff and it's so familiar to them that it doesn't even seem to come up in mention, until you observe it first hand.

Edited by Starcoaster, 25 January 2012 - 09:57 PM.

[mickspangle]

Actually it's the World Service - R4 is only for the uninitiated.

Starcoaster needs more greenies - a spectacularly awesome summary.

Fair point, i must sort out getting LW reception inside the boat

[Ally]

brilliant star!! Thanks for that!!

[ditchcrawler]

Spot on. You forgot to mention

38. You take a bag of washing when you go visiting friends and family for the weekend. You may even actively select holiday cottages or campsites based on their laundry facilities.
39. You come home from holiday with all your washing done (see above)
40. You eventually try and hide the fact that you live on a boat because you can't be bothered with answering all the same old questions again about being cold in winter, council tax, post etc
41. Over time your wardrobe changes. All your clothes now are dark blues, browns, greens and black. You have no idea when this happened and are not aware that this was a conscious decision.
42. You can identify other boaters by smell

We did 38 following on from a weeks hire boating and they had done away with the washing machine

[leeco]

You come to a lock and think FFS a lock then you realise that there are 20 of them 1 after another.

Edited by leeco, 25 January 2012 - 10:20 PM.

[matty40s]

it takes much experience, practice and pain to gain this knowledge, and for someone to grasp it so quickly is , frankly, astonishing.
The simple ideas of "I cannot steer" are offset by the Fincher "Raymond is the wrong shape", therefore allowing re-modelling hits as the learning process is instilled.
The worries of, "I hear a bilge pump and water over there" when the boat 1'9" away has its oulet in precisely the right place.
Stary, you have nailed boating, I suggest this post is pinned, nailed and blue tacked somewhere by the mods.

[Starcoaster]

It's true... Since I renamed Raymond in my head as 'new front fender' I have been much braver about the whole steering malarkey.

However I will probably continue to come out with classics such as 'how do I move 100lb ballast blocks to the boat, it's about a ten minute walk away..?'

[Bob18]

I thought the source of news was the public bar of the <insert pub name>....

[leeco]

You say hi to everyone you see on your journey but if you was walking down the street and said hi you would get funny looks off people.

[The Dog House]

Cock on Starry...

[Chickadee]

Fantastic! Tears running down my face. I think I might have to print this out and hand it to guests so we can get all those questions out the way first.

[nbfiresprite]

44. Smaller the boat, Greater the number of cats living on board.

45. Large Boat = small dog.

46. Small Boat = large dog.


Firesprite

In the office

[Starcoaster]

Me= 30 foot cruiser stern, four cats.

[tillergirl]

47. Rolling over in the middle of the night , falling off the boatmans bed and ending up on the dog who just happens to have decided thats the best place to sleep tonight

[boots]

just brilliant, love it

[bizzard]

Tremendous stuff Star really brilliant.
One other important thing is.Always keep a survival outfit in the toilet''food and amusements'' cos its usually the only refuge you have you can cringe in when pretending to be out,we're all a bit anti-social at times.But whatever you do don't move,the slightest boat movement will give you away,just sit quietly on the bog and meditate.

[Ange]

Bloody fantastic Starry - have another greenie to add to your collection!!!

Had me 'n' Dave in stitches